Changemaker Personality Test

How Personality Labels Help Us

admin — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 18:51:30 +0000

by Randy Son of Robert

Everyone has many personality labels yet most of us resist being labeled. Over a lifetime, we each will have hundreds of labels because we have unique life experiences. The main way that we learn our labels is from others. We generally resist these suggestions as it feels that the labels have a negative connotation. Yet most of our labels are positive and negative at the same time.

We each love to learn about ourselves. But we pretend that we don’t want to know. It is the same maneuver we use to view a group picture that includes us. While oohing and aahing over all the other group members, we are secretly gazing at ourselves.

Most of the labels used by counselors are unknown by clients. The Changemaker Test, which is meant as a vehicle for self-discovery, includes the labels used in NLP (neurolinguistic programming), birth order, family roles, emotional energies, and MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator). Also included are the labels for the Big Five Test, enneagram, and transactional analysis.

Changemaker is committed to the basic belief that each person has the opportunity for self-discovery and the potential for self-healing. As individuals, we sometimes choose paths that may be harmful to us. To get off that path and onto a new road takes exploration and experimentation.

The Changemaker Test offers education for self-discovery as Changemaker believes that the change within a person involves the courage to see (insight) and the courage to act (action).

The Changemaker Test will teach anyone 10 labels about themselves. Therefore, by using the labels to change themselves, the changemaker is the person who decides to learn and make the change happen.

Does a personality label mean that a person will always act according to that personality trait? No! A label is only a personality indicator. For the Changemaker Test, in choosing your labels, go with your first choice. Don’t try to figure out the “best” answer. There aren’t any best answers. As we stated before, each label has positive and negative aspects.

On the road of self-discovery, remember to look for guidance among persons that are on their individual path of growth. If someone wants to tell you who to be, that person is not growing but is trying to avoid growth by “changing” you. Some people call this codependency.

Yet we all are probably codependent at one time or another. It happens sometimes that another person gets more of our attention that we are giving to ourselves. But the codependent uses concern to gain power over others in the classic position of “top-dog”. Shared power is the only ingredient in relationships that determines how healthy the union is.

Reciprocity shows respect and dignity in relationships. Emily Dickinson wrote in one of her poems—“the soul selects her own society-then shuts the door”. The power in a relationship is divided or debated from that first glance. The people that we meet and with whom we instantly feel comfortable are those with whom we share the power.

Unfortunately what many call “excitement” is the game of control. The Course in Miracles suggests that our main feelings are love and fear. If we aren’t offering love, we are trapped in our fear.

When You Find the Buddha in the Middle of the Road-Kill Him is the wise title of a good book by Sidney Kopp. No one knows what is better for anyone but that person.

We each have our own answers. Even those trained in counseling techniques can only see what is revealed. Tendencies may be seen and certainly personality indicators will be there. But the work of change is a person’s individual choice.

The test for evaluating our motives when we want to deceive ourselves about our “loving” motives is that when we come in the spirit of love, there will be no resistance. If tension exists in an exchange, there is a power struggle.

The resistance proves that we are coming in a spirit of fear. If we are in a tug of war with someone, we can let go of our end of the rope. With the freed energy from letting go, we can then join the “enemy” to find a solution to the problem.

At the heart of a loving home is peace. Peace comes from “losing” battles and winning the war. “O Lord, let there be peace and let it start with me.”

About the Changemaker Test

Using A Personality Test for Dating

The Enneagram Teaches Your Underlying Beliefs

Using the John Holland Test to Find Your Career

We Each Have Four Types of Emotional Energy

kberman — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 13:53:40 +0000

The four types of emotional energy that we each have are creative, logic, relationship and grounding.

By mikebaird

In the Changemaker Test found on this blog, you will select two emotional energies that you use the most. The other two energies will be indicators to you of what you need to strengthen. These energies are relationship, logic, creative and grounding energies.

To gather energy, we use either grounding or creative energy. In order to process energy, we use either logic or relationship energy.

The energies are:

1) Relationship energy—working with and being sensitive to others.

2) Logic energy—setting goals, planning action needed and analyzing resources available.

3) Creative energy—looking at new solutions for problems

and possible redirecting to implement change.

4) Grounding energy—getting the job completed on schedule.

To develop energy in each area, we may try the following:

1) Creative energy—we may need to play at solving problems. Turn the solution into a game.

2) Logic energy—we may choose to do some projects that call for measurement, for example, measuring all your rooms to estimate the total floor space available in your room.

3) Relationship energy—we need to practice expressing feelings in intimate situations.

4) Grounding energy—we need to explore our physical world during walks, etc., by noticing colors, smells, sounds, etc., of our world.

About the Changemaker Test

admin — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 16:00:21 +0000

By Saquayo

It is estimated by the age of 21, each of us has acquired 20,000 hours of negative self-talk. Learn to listen to the voices in your head. Whatever you are thinking is what you are feeling.

Everyone has many personality labels yet most of us resist being labeled. Over a lifetime, we each will have hundreds of labels because we each have unique life experiences. The main way we learn our labels is from others. We generally resist these learnings as it feels that the labels have a negative connotation. Yet most of our labels are positive and negative at the same time.

Personality labels are personality indicators. Labels can be positive and negative at the same time. By learning our personality traits, we can determine the positives about ourselves to enrich our self-image. Understanding ourselves and what motivates each of us can be a powerful tool towards meeting life’s challenges and personal dreams.

By learning our personality traits, we can determine the positives about ourselves and change the negative thoughts to positive ones. The Changemaker Test is meant to be the starting point for self-discovery. With the complete test, answers and explanations, anyone can test their friends and family.

Also anyone who has compassion for others can use these materials to begin discussion groups of persons interested in self-discovery. Anyone can start a free group online at Squidoo after s/he publishes a lens about anything.

The Changemaker Test includes:

The test of 25 personality traits include the categories of NLP (neurolinguistic programming), birth order, family roles, emotional energy, and MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator)

From the 25 traits, each person will learn 10 of his/her personality traits

Each of the 25 traits is explained in an individual description

Included is the Big Five Test and enneagram information

A bibliography for all the personality traits has been added and links for each of the personality labels is added

The Changemaker Test is free at this site.

Using a Personality Test For Twelve Step Dating

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:15:11 +0000

By DMahendra

Having a sobriety date of Nov. 24, 1976, has given me many years to observe and learn about dating in twelve step meetings. I completely agree that no one should be entering any new relationships in the first year of recovery. And I also recommend that discarding old ones during the first year should be done slowly. Recovery opens us up emotionally in a way we may never have been before. So learning to deal with your emotions is a full-time job and adding a new person to the mix only brings an opportunity to run away emotionally again. These feelings are what made us drink or use so not facing them alone now will only postpone the inevitable. I believe any growth postponed increases the severity of it.

So I want to start exploring and defining what attracts us each to another person. Remember this is for research only.

(1) Find out your personality labels from the Changemaker Personality Test.

(2) Use the Changemaker Test Answer Sheet.

(3) Look up the “answers” from the Changemaker Test Answers.

(4) All the answers are explained throughout this blog.

(5) I have included a sample completed test which are actually my personality labels.

After you take the test, give it to your friends and family. From exploring each other’s personality labels, you will begin to understand your own and others personality traits.

This test can also be used to begin a grow group where you can help others to understand themselves and others in their lives. Check out Changemaker Groups.

After giving the test to all those who will allow to define his/her traits, you can begin to see personality traits in others based on his/her personality labels. You will find yourself asking new people leading questions. The questions that the Changemaker Personality Test will answer are:

(1) How do you access information from the world? Neurolinquistic Programming (NLP) tells us that there are three ways: visual. auditory or kinesthetic. NLP is the basis for most of Tony Robbin’s work but he didn’t originate it. But he simplified it and became a millionaire from it. Good for him!

(2) What was your birth order in your family of origin?

(3) Which family roles did you adopt? You have a being role (how you feel) and a doing role (the you you show to the world).

The updated family role definitions.

(4) How do you use your emotional energy? We use all four but two are dominant.

(5) What is your MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator)? About the MBTI

More information about the Changemaker Test:

Changemaker Test Bibliography

Also this blog has many links in the right hand column for links about the topics in the Changemaker Test.

Why You Should Know Your Personality Labels

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:13:24 +0000

Rainbow Bridge by Sajiv Vijay

The field of therapy is the study of personality. To understand you or others better, invaluable tools to use are personality tests. The more we know of the labels for one personality, the better we can see these same traits in others. The Change maker Test Package offered on this site can be used for any number of different people. Because we each are unique, no one will have the exact same traits.

Does a personality label mean that a person will always act according to that personality trait? No! A label is only a personality indicator. For the Change maker Test, as in most personality tests, in choosing your labels, go with your first choice. Don’t try to figure out the best answers. There aren’t any best answers. As we stated before, each label has positive and negative aspects. How we use our personality labels is our choice. How you feel about anything is your choice. No one can make you feel anything you don’t choose to feel.

On your road to self-discovery, remember to look for guidance among persons that are on their individual path of growth. If someone wants to tell you who to be, that person is not growing but is trying to avoid growth by “changing” you. Some people call this codependency.

About personality labels

Personality Traits Linked to Artistic Taste

The Enneagram Teaches Your Underlying Beliefs

lberman954 — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:11:32 +0000

By Sister72

The Enneagram is a powerful and dynamic personality system that describes nine distinct and fundamentally different patterns of thinking, feeling and acting.

The word “ennea” is Greek for nine and “gram” means model or figure. Hence, the Enneagram is a diagram or star with nine points representing the nine personality patterns. Each of these nine patterns is based on an explicit set of perceptual filters that determine our worldview. Underneath each of the nine patterns is a basic proposition or belief about what you need in life for survival and satisfaction.

As you discover your personality type and the underlying basic proposition, you also will discover what motivates you, your coping strategy and keys to personal development. Read the brief descriptions of the nine types that follow, then click on any of the numbers on the Enneagram diagram below to start the tour of the nine Enneagram types.

Brief descriptions of the nine types:

Type One: The Perfectionist believes you must be good and right to be worthy. Consequently, Perfectionists are conscientious, responsible, improvement-oriented and self-controlled, but also can be critical, resentful and self-judging.

Type Two: The Giver believes you must give fully to others to be loved. Consequently, Givers are caring, helpful, supportive and relationship-oriented, but also can be prideful, overly intrusive and demanding.

Type Three: The Performer believes you must accomplish and succeed to be loved. Consequently, Performers are industrious, fast-paced, goal-focused and efficiency-oriented, but also can be inattentive to feelings, impatient and image-driven.

Type Four: The Romantic believes you must obtain the longed for ideal relationship or situation to be loved. Consequently, Romantics are idealistic, deeply feeling, empathetic and authentic to self, but also dramatic, moody and sometimes self-absorbed.

Type Five: The Observer believes you must protect yourself from a world that demands too much and gives too little to assure life. Consequently, Observers seek self-sufficiency and are non-demanding, analytic/thoughtful and unobtrusive, but also can be withholding, detached and overly private.

Type Six: The Loyal Skeptic believes you must gain protection and security in a hazardous world you just can’t trust. Consequently, Loyal Skeptics are themselves trustworthy, inquisitive, good friends and questioning, but also can be overly doubtful, accusatory and fearful.

Type Seven: The Epicure believes you must keep life up and open to assure a good life. Consequently, Epicures seek pleasure and possibilities, and are optimistic, upbeat and adventurous, but also can avoid pain and be uncommitted and self-serving.

Type Eight: The Protector believes you must be strong and powerful to assure protection and regard in a tough world. Consequently, Protectors seek justice and are direct, strong and action-oriented, but also overly impactful, excessive and sometimes impulsive.

Type Nine: The Mediator believes that to be loved and valued you must blend in and go along to get along. Consequently, Mediators seek harmony and are self-forgetting, comfortable and steady, but also avoid conflicts and can be stubborn.

The above excerpt is from our favorite enneagram site, Enneagram Worldwide, and is reprinted with permission.

Updated Family Roles in Our Family of Origin

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 14:43:17 +0000

by Beverly and Pack

The following is an update on family roles from ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics). I call ACA Adult Children of Addicts because that covers most of us. Most of us have experienced some dysfunction in our family of origin.

The reprint begins with:

“Some of the personality types are:”

FAMILY HERO – An achiever, usually (but not always) the oldest child. Often a workaholic who can identify other’.4 needs and meet them, but is without an understanding of their own needs. This is often a child who uses their success to find a sense of belonging — the one who shows the family is “all right,” but who is unable to feel the benefit of his/her achievements. They feel like a fraud and are subject to depressions which they hide from those around them.

THE RESCUER – Similar to the Family Hero, -but without the visible success. The Rescuer finds those in needs, lets them move in or marries them or finds a job for them while supply other needs and is very understanding of the frequent betrayals. The rescuer has a deep seated self-hate that drives them to their role as a savior, because they know that anyone not already at the bottom of the barrel would have nothing to do with them. They tend to feel inadequate in their giving and unable to accept help for their own needs.

THE MASCOT – Often a younger child who uses humor or other distracting behavior, such as being exceptional clumsy or always in trouble, to take the focus of the family away from the problems of the family dysfunction. If the parent is violently drunk, the Mascot may take the abuse to “save” the rest of the family, or may be able to crack a joke at the necessary moment to take everyone’s mind off the pain of their reality.

THE ADJUSTER – The one who is never bothered by what is happening; there is no reason to be excited because everyone had to lie with family problems. The child never becomes too attached to goal or a desire because they have learned to change their direction at any moment. They float, knowing something is wrong but coping, often successfully, with one chaotic situation after another by surrendering their identity to the needs of the moment.

THE DOORMAT – The abused child who survives by lying down and letting others walk all over him/her, rather than risk an unpleasant or dangerous confrontation. This child is very understanding of the need someone else may have to injure him/her, but cannot identify his/her feelings about the abuse in the past or present.

THE ACTING OUT CHILD or THE REBEL – This child is in action at the slightest provocation, whether as an heroic action to prevent abuse to someone else (by distracting the abuser) or to protect himself/herself with wildness. This is the child who is most visible to the outside world and who may adopt alcoholism, drug addiction or other compulsive behavior early in defiance of the family system.

THE SCAPEGOAT or FAMILY JERK – This child takes the blame and shame for the actions of other family members by being the most visibly dysfunctional. This child serves the family by being sick or crazy to allow the other members of the family to ignore their own dysfunction. This is also the child who holds the family together — the family rallies to help the family jerk. He/She learns to remain dysfunctional to continue receiving the little attention available in a dysfunctional home by making the family “okay” by being the focus of all that is “not okay” which all members of the family vaguely sense.

THE BULLY – This child is usually the victim of physical, sexual and/or emotional abuse, who successfully makes the mental transition to stop being the victim by victimizing others. Often the Bully is genuinely remorseful for the pain and suffering caused to others, but will continue inflicting that abuse rather than face his/her own pain.

THE LOST CHILD – Often a younger (or the youngest) child, this personality type has learned to stay out of the way, not make his/her wants known and to expect nothing. They avoid feeling by denying that they have feelings. They adopt whatever behavior will allow them to stay invisible within the family, at work, at school or in a relationship. This is the child who can assume whatever personality those around him/her find least threatening.

THE LAST HOPE – Similar to the Lost Child, the Last Hope is the caretaker for the family when all other members have become unable to continue their roles. Often the Last Child is raised on comments like “You’ll never hurt me like so-and-so.” These children may work themselves to death trying to do “what’s right” for blood relations or adopted families, no matter what the expense to their own life.

Each of the personality types has special needs in Recovery, and each type can recover if they are willing to take the risk in believing they can change and heal.

Because the personalities of the family are mangled, the character traits of the children can be equally blurred. An Adult Child may have several of the above characteristics at one time, or may play a different role within the family at different times or depending on who they are responding to.

THE GOOD NEWS

After reading this far, you may question if any Recovery is possible.

The answer is a resounding YES. The ACA Central Service Board and Interim World Service organization issues a form of “The Solution” as an offering of shared experience, strength and hope in the experience of Recovery —

“The Solution”

The Solution is to become your own loving parent.

As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find the freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recovery the child within you, learning to accept and love yourself.

The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation.

Feelings and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to reparent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.

This process allows us to see our biological parents as the

instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God. Although we had alcoholic parents, our Higher (don’t know where the rest of this is—will research at later date.)

(5/21/2005 11:48 AM—Old info)

New Info from Kathy Berman—May 25, 2010

I have been working on the above info for over a year. I have created a reparenting blog–http://thefreeroad.wordpress.com/.

Also check out my updated homepage–http://kathyberman.com/.

I am pleased with what God has given me. Now that I am divorced, I feel this great surge of energy to receive the bounty that God has planned for me and all those that I love. I have had really remarkable people come into my life this year. I want to create enough business for the people that I love to be able to work together in spreading God’s love everywhere we go.

So, I have all the blogs-30 or more—in place. If a blog has the name wordpress in the url, those blogs will not be making money. But they are easy to do and each has a separate message to the world.

The six main blogs are:

High Energy Life in 12 Weeks
kathyberman.com

Learning Your Labels (Changemaker Test)

answersbyemail.com

Start Your Own Grow Group
changemakergroups.com

Referrals for Books in 8 Subjects
cmlibrary.com

Emotional, Mental, and Physical Healing Tips
healingforyou.com

Supplement for High Energy Life Goals
highenergygoals.com

As some of you know, ACA used to be ACOA. When I found ACOA years ago, I truly felt home in a way I never had felt home in AA. I was drinking a six-pack of beer on Fri and Sat night when I quit drinking. I was fortunate enough to see my father’s progression and to know that that would happen to me, too.

I finally see myself in the Rescuer. I have a hard time asking for anything. I know now that I am in my addiction when I just want to keep giving and giving and hiding from my own needs.

How We Use Our Emotional Energies

lberman954 — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 09:28:39 +0000

By emrank

Our emotional energy has four categories. We all use each one from time to time. But we mainly use two. The way to balance your life is to be conscious of the two rarely used and make an effort to become stronger in these two lesser used energies. The four types of emotional energy are logic, relationship, grounding and creative.

(1) Logic energy:

Description of logic energy:

Set goals

Organize

Have a plan of action

Analyze

Stressors of logic energy:

Lack of direction in meetings

Lack of focus

Unorganization

Snap decisions

Too much logic energy; may not listen to others enough

The opposite energy that will need to be developed is:

Relationship energy

To develop relationship energy, practice doing these:

Learn active learning from PET books by Thomas Gordon

Spend time getting in touch with your inner child for more sensitivity.

Spend time alone with another person reflecting back what the other person is saying (reflective listening)

(2) Relationship energy:

Description of relationship energy:

Is aware of the impact of decisions on others

Stressors of relationship energy:

Isolation

Insensitive people

Criticism

People who use others for their own agenda

People-pleasing

Too much relationship energy; tends to be stressed from

Over-commitment

The opposite energy that will need to be developed is:

Logic energy

To develop relationship energy, practice doing these:

Choose a problem and spend time at the library to solve this problem

Measure distances and/or estimate materials for a project

Choose three general goals and develop five sub-goals for each one

(3) Grounding energy:

Description of grounding energy:

Believes in concrete solutions

Has need to help group come to decisions

Gathers information

Practical

Focuses on details

Bases their actions on observations

Stressors of grounding energy:

Doing several things at one time

Lack of action

Failing to reach a decision

Daydreamers

Unexpected changes

Requests for later decision time

Too much grounding energy: scopes too limited

The opposite energy that will need to be developed is:

creative energy

To develop grounding energy, practice doing these:

Make playing a daily activity; for example, make a cassette tape by copying your favorite songs, or keep crayons and coloring books handy

Keep an idea notebook and try using nucleus idea in a circle in the middle of the page and draw other circles with corresponding ideas

(4) Creative energy:

Description of creative energy:

Detects possibilities for problem-solving easily

Stressors of creative energy:

Negative people

Meetings that produce no results

Rigidity

Lack of courage in making decisions

Too much creative energy; may be too impractical

The opposite energy that will need to be developed is:

Grounding energy

To develop grounding energy, practice doing these:

1. On regular basis, take walks concentrating on one of the five senses, such as listening, and then the next day, focus on another sense, such as smelling.

2. Do one thing at a time

3. Get out of your head

4. Celebrate your accomplishments frequently

5. Use autosuggestions; such as, I feel great!

6. Explore the world

7. Develop sensory skills

Birth Order Definitions

lberman954 — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 08:47:18 +0000

By Greg Hayter

First born:

Description of first born: Tend to be studious, serious, and well-organized. They also tend to have his profile professions.

Strengths of being first-born: Conscientious—reliable—accepts responsibility easily—organizer—tends to become oriented to needs or feelings of other people around them

Weaknesses of being first-born: Stubborn—perfectionistic-driven—moody—skeptical—tense—tends to look for flaws—critical

To overcome limitations, use the following suggestions to make affirmations: To make affirmations powerful: state them in the present tense only, be positive, be specific, begin with “I”, state the affirmation as if it were already accomplished to avoid wishful thinking, and keep them free from condemnation or criticism.

For example, say “I am free of fear.” Not ”I’d like to be free of fear.” If you have a belief in God or a Higher Power, use that belief in your affirmations.

Avoid focusing on one narrow solution. Instead open yourself up to the solution for the greatest good of all concerned.

Affirmations have the power to replace years of negative thinking.

Combining affirmations with creative imagery gives anyone the ability to create positive transformations in her/his life.

In a little booklet named “It Works”, R.H. Jarrett suggests starting with a small goal or idea in the beginning. A specific amount of money for the first request is the easiest to start with. Write down this request in a simple, straight-forward way, such as, “I will be receiving $10,000.00.” It is recommended that this statement be read aloud several times throughout the day.

Many people write these requests in a journal or they can be recorded into a cassette player.

Specific questions to examine for 1^st born are:

Is it OK to be happy?

Is it OK for you to put love ahead of respect?

Is it OK to feel Ok when you do not get respect?

Is it OK for you to have what you want

Relationship match:

Best match= Last born Worst match=First born

Second born:

Description of second born: Tend to be competitive, social and the peacemaker. They make good negotiators.

Strengths of being second-born: Well adjusted—social—great compromiser—peacemaker—extremely loyal

Weaknesses of being second-born: Avoid confrontation—hide their feelings—feel inferior to others

For example, say “I am free of fear.” Not ”I’d like to be free of fear.” If you have a belief in God or a Higher Power, use that belief in your affirmations.

Avoid focusing on one narrow solution. Instead open yourself up to the solution for the greatest good of all concerned.

Affirmations have the power to replace years of negative thinking. Combining affirmations with creative imagery gives anyone the ability to create positive transformations in her/his life.

Many people write these requests in a journal or they can be recorded into a cassette player.

Specific questions to examine for 2nd born are:

Is it OK for you to put feelings ahead of logic?

Is it OK for others to be the way they are?

Is it OK for you to feel okay, even if everything is not perfect?

Is it OK for you to feel okay even if you do something imperfectly?

Relationship match:

Best match= First or last born Worst match=Middle born

Third born:

Description of third born: Compliant—flexible—anonymous

Strengths of being third-born: Have lots of friends—tend to have the most stable relationships—good at keeping secrets

Weaknesses of being third-born: May be too easygoing—avoids confrontation even when confrontation is needed

For example, say “I am free of fear.” Not ”I’d like to be free of fear.” If you have a belief in God or a Higher Power, use that belief in your affirmations.

Avoid focusing on one narrow solution. Instead open yourself up to the solution for the greatest good of all concerned.

Affirmations have the power to replace years of negative thinking. Combining affirmations with creative imagery gives anyone the ability to create positive transformations in her/his life.

Many people write these requests in a journal or they can be recorded into a cassette player.

Specific questions to examine for 3rd born are:

Is it OK for you to enjoy your fears?

10. Is it OK for you to take chances?

11. Is it OK for you to be yielding instead of being strong?

Is it OK for you to take risks in a relationship?

Relationship match:

Best match= First or last born Worst match=Middle born

Fourth born:

Description of fourth-born: Have more relaxed attitude to life

Strengths of being fourth-born: Tend to handle disappointments well—good at seeing all sides in a negotiation—have many friends—work hard to keep friends

Weaknesses of being fourth-born: May lack confidence in ability to lead—Often feel misunderstood

For example, say “I am free of fear.” Not ”I’d like to be free of fear.” If you have a belief in God or a Higher Power, use that belief in your affirmations.

Avoid focusing on one narrow solution. Instead open yourself up to the solution for the greatest good of all concerned.

Affirmations have the power to replace years of negative thinking. Combining affirmations with creative imagery gives anyone the ability to create positive transformations in her/his.life.

Many people write these requests in a journal or they can be recorded into a cassette player.

Specific questions to examine for 4th born are:

Is it OK to be important?

Is it OK to be the center of attention?

Is it OK to not always be understanding?

Relationship match:

Best match= First born Worst match=Middle born

Last born:

Description of last born: Affectionate, tolerant and spontaneous.

Strengths of being last born: Make good salespeople as they find it easy talking to others—easygoing—fun to be with

Weaknesses of being last born: Often frustrated by the rejection they experience for their immaturity—irresponsible—would rather play than work—manipulative—self-centered

For example, say “I am free of fear.” Not ”I’d like to be free of fear.” If you have a belief in God or a Higher Power, use that belief in your affirmations.

Avoid focusing on one narrow solution. Instead open yourself up to the solution for the greatest good of all concerned. Affirmations have the power to replace years of negative thinking.

Combining affirmations with creative imagery gives anyone the ability to create positive transformations in her/his life.

Many people write these requests in a journal or they can be recorded into a cassette player.

Specific questions to examine for last born are:

Is it OK for you to be grown-up?

Is it OK for you to care?

Is it OK for you to put logic ahead of fear?

Is it OK for you to do things the easy way?

Relationship match:

Best match= First born Worst match=Last born

Only born:

Description of only born: Tend to be reliable as first-born without as much need for recognition. Only children tend to be in high-profile professions. May tend to feel whatever they do is never good enough.

Strengths of being only born: Conscientious—reliable—

May be conservative and tend to work best at independent work.

Weaknesses of being only born: Has need to keep others from intruding on their lives—codependent “savers” of others—may tend to view self as a special person—tend to expect a lot from life—may resent criticism—tend to lie in their own world

For example, say “I am free of fear.” Not ”I’d like to be free of fear.” If you have a belief in God or a Higher Power, use that belief in your affirmations.

Avoid focusing on one narrow solution. Instead open yourself up to the solution for the greatest good of all concerned. Affirmations have the power to replace years of negative thinking.

Combining affirmations with creative imagery gives anyone the ability to create positive transformations in her/his life.

Many people write these requests in a journal or they can be recorded into a cassette player.

Specific questions to examine for only born are:

Is it OK for you to do what you feel like doing when you want?

Is it OK for you to take the chance of making a mistake?

Relationship match:

Best match= Last born Worst match=Only born

Neurolinquistic Programming (NLP)

lberman954 — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 08:42:29 +0000

By tibchris

Neurolinquistic Programming (NPL)

History

The field was co-created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the early 1970s from what they called “modeling” several well-known psychotherapists, namely Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir, and Milton Erickson. Bandler, then a student at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and Grinder, then an Assistant Professor of linguistics, were strongly influenced by the mentoring of Gregory Bateson, and they drew their approach from many inspirations such as cybernetics and the General Semantics of Alfred Korzybski.

NLP and Psychology

NLP falls under the broadest heading of psychology, but perhaps most closely relates to cognitive psychology. But while Grinder had an undergraduate degree in psychology, NLP began quite outside the academic mainstream, and it remains largely divorced from mainstream academic psychology to this day, even though a small subsection NLP practitioners do have traditional credentials in psychology and psychiatry.

Methods

The field of NLP has over time gathered many mini-models and associated techniques that can be applied to various situations. The models and techniques range in purpose from talking directly to people’s subconcious rapport,

to anchoring and triggering of internal states, to putting people in a trance induction and changing their beliefs for

persuation. There are models of internal representations (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, gustatory and olfactory) and their submodalities and concomitant effects on emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. (Accordingly, one early book on NLP subtitled the field as “the study of the structure of subjective experience”.) As fallout of the modeling process the field has also developed specific techniques that can be applied to applications ranging from psychotherapy, e.g. curing phobias, handling criticism and flattery, handling grief, stopping unwanted habits and behaviors, etc., to sales and persuasion techniques, to learning techniques, to curing some allergies, and many others. NLP can be taught through live training programs, but also through self-study by using techniques and exploring.

The above information about NLP has been included from Wikipedia. As Wikipedia is continually being updated, the information used here is from July 13, 2005 site.

A. NLP (Neurolinquistic programming)

1. Logic:

Sensory-based Language:

Words: light, dark, eye, focus, see, show, vision, look, watch

Phrases: I see what you mean. We see eye to eye. Show me what you mean. Shed some light on it. It appears to me. Clear to me. Look like—. Look at the big picture.

Information Processing:

Fast-paced—likes frequent stimulation—sees events as a slide show—one frame after the other—influenced by color

Speech Pattern: Talks fast—high pitched due to shallow breathing

Eye Movement:

Right-handed people: visualizing things from the past, the eyes are moved up and to the left.

Trying to imagine something from words or the imagination, the eyes are moved up and to the right.

Left-handed people: visualizing things from the past, the eyes are moved up and to the right.

Trying to imagine something from words or the imagination, the eyes are moved up and to the left.

2. Auditory:

Sensory-based Language:

Words: sound, tell, speak, say, talk, hear, loud, tone

Phrases: Rings a bell for me. Loud and clear. On the same wave length. Sounds good. Do you hear that?

Information Processing:

May perceive things quicker over the telephone—listens carefully to how something sounds in effort to recall an inner record of similar delivery.

Speech Pattern: Speaks clearly and distinctly—likes to sound good.

Eye Movement:

Right-handed people: for remembered sounds, the eyes move across to the left.

For sounds we are trying to imagine, the eyes move to the right.

Left-handed people: for remembered sounds, the eyes move to the right.

For sounds we are trying to imagine, the eyes move to the left.

3. Kinesthetic:

Sensory-based Language:

Words: touch, rub, warm, cool, gentle, light, smooth, rough, push, pull, tense, hold, grab

Phrases: Feels right with me. Grabs my attention. Rubs me the wrong way.

Information Processing:

Needs to feel trust in an interaction—feelings dominate their decisions—develop quick opinion of others

Speech Pattern: Speaks very slowly with frequent pauses as this type is trying to get a feel or a reading of what is going on around them

Eye Movement:

Right-handed people: when remembering or experiencing feelings, the eyes go down and to the right.

To access feelings from internal dialogue, the eyes go to the left.

Left-handed people: when remembering or experiencing feelings, the eyes go down and to the left.

To access feelings from internal dialogue, the eyes go to the right.